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Persuasive Communication – Less Is More
Like it or not, life is all about persuasion. Interviewing
for a job, asking for a budget increase, requesting help,
communicating goals, presenting concerns and motivating others.
These are all things we do at work (and at home) every day.
Some people don't like the word “persuade" and prefer
to soften things by using terms like influence or negotiate,
but call it what you will. We need to persuade people to support
us and our ideas on a regular basis. This is one of the most
overlooked and underdeveloped talents among managers and employees
everywhere.
Persuasive communication techniques are woven into many Miller-Schmidt
& Associates courses. Our seminars about dealing with
conflict and emotion and communication across the generations,
for example, include an important persuasive communication
element. Similarly, the workshops we produce on public speaking
and business writing have a dual objective of improving technical
skills as well as persuasive technique. And of course our
business skills courses, such as those that provide guidance
on how to give feedback and manage performance wouldn’t be
complete without touching upon the art of persuasion.
Make it Personal
There are many steps and nuances to effective persuasion,
but the key component is thinking about what you are asking
from the other person's viewpoint, not yours. The fact is
people do only what they want to do. This is not rocket science
(apologies to my clients at JPL). We all have heard the saying
"WIIFM" or "what’s in it for me?" yet
I find this concept is rarely put to use to improve persuasive
communication.
One way to demonstrate that you are concerned about what
interests others is to not overwhelm them with information.
Sadly, breaking this rule is one of the most common reasons
why people don’t communicate effectively. This often happens
because we have lots of background in the subject and want
to share all of our knowledge. Knowledge is great, but guess
what? The receiver doesn't care at all about what you know
– or even what you think. The receiver only cares about what
is important to his job, her project or his or her life. When
it comes to persuasive communication, less really is more.
For example – when most people prepare a presentation, they
try to write out what they want to say perfectly. They pay
special attention to word choice and impressive facts. As
a result, the first half of the presentation is often consumed
with background. But most of the time, the audience doesn't
care about background. And they don't care about the perfect
word choice. All they care about is how this is going to affect
them. Say it with me now, "What's in it for me?"
One of my favorite quotes is, "You probably wouldn't
worry so much about what others think of you if you knew how
seldom they do." Depressing, but freeing at the same
time.
My suggestion is that the next time you prepare to persuade
someone – whether in the form of a formal presentation, written
communication or one-on-one discussion – brainstorm or “mind
map” your talk, keeping in mind your ultimate goal. If it
helps you to organize your thoughts, go ahead and write down
all of your ideas. That way you can put down all that impressive
stuff but not skip the next step.
Then take a look at the list you've created and cross off
the information your audience doesn't care about. Be brutally
honest. Get your list of thoughts down to the core information.
Next, as you group like categories, you will begin to see
an outline emerge – an outline that is focused on your audience.
A Skill You Can Use Daily
Now, let's take a look at some different communication situations.
Need to give feedback to a colleague or employee? Remember
less is still more. Start with what's in it for the person
you’re talking to. Why should they care about your feedback?
Just because you're the boss is not always enough for long
term change. How will making this change improve the employee's
life? Will he or she get more visibility, cooperation, support?
Then give one or two factual examples of the behavior or performance
you would like to see change. Often, managers go on too long
when the employee has already "got it." This kind
of reminds one of a parent’s lecture. No one wants to relive
that.
Need to resolve a conflict? The same principle applies. If
the people who are at odds don’t want to resolve their conflict
– they won't. As a manager, it is your job to help them see
what's in it for them. What's the mutual benefit for solving
this issue? Again, less is more. Keep your comments to maximum
two or three examples, then stop and let them talk.
Remember to Listen Actively
Finally, most people complain that there aren't very many
good listeners in the world. That's because most people are
too busy talking. To be a truly persuasive communicator, you
must first understand what your audience wants. That means
you need to listen to them. Be clear with the ideas you want
to impart, impart them, and then stop talking. I think you'll
be surprised at how much more responsive your audience will
be and how much more you will learn.
I'm sure you will have the opportunity today to persuade
or influence someone, and when you do, remember to focus on
what's really important. . I think you’ll agree, less really
is more. |
